Thoughts...

Huge announcement: I think we have decided on a church, most likely...

It's the first church we went to when we arrived (literally we rolled into town around 9pm and the next morning we were at church at 11am) called Indelible Grace Church. It's a PCA church which really talks a lot about grace. The biggest thing though is that it models grace. We have been to churches that are really fun for kids, but with all the rewards for correct answers or attendance charts it modeled works. It was a church that modeled: If you work hard enough, get enough rewards, and come to church you will know God! Although churches talk about the heart, it is so easy to make sure your heart is right before God, and quite honestly as a sinner, it's not right unless God does the work.

But, at this time of transition, I am part of a MOPs group at Redwood Chapel, a Women's group at Neighborhood church, and attend Indelible Grace Church on Sunday morning. We also send Hannah to base camp at Neighborhood church because it is fun for kids, and the church we like does not have any kids programs...yet...

 So I guess you could say we are church hopping, but next year will look different for sure. We are right now praying about the school we will send the girls to. Although we like the school which is close to us, if I were completely honest I would say that we are not content with the education the girls are receiving. The bulk of instruction is not targeted to their academic level, and the girls usually follow models for writing or activities rather than create their own work. And technology...Kate watches lots of Youtube shows...does that count? So Jeff and I are praying about what to do next year. So for now I am content to be part of two women's groups knowing that next year will look different: I will only join one group or I may homeschool through a local charter school...we shall see.

But as I study the book Celebration of Discipline that my women's group is going through I am reminded of the need to seek after God's heart in everything. I read this week about the discipline of prayer and he said that our prayer should be motivated from compassion, and if we are praying for something out of fear or judgement then we are missing God's heart and should put aside praying for that and trust that God will call someone else to pray for that need. I started to think of how often my prayers are motivated by fear. I pray for my girls, fearful that they will not understand the great love of God, or that they will remember the hard times in out family and not the fun ones, that they will befriend difficult friends, or date untrustworthy guys. I pray for my sister with fear, and doubt that God's healing will happen in our family. So I pray, but my heart in prayer is missing the heart of God. Even my prayers are full of sin and doubt. I am so thankful for a God that understands and has compassion on my fearful state. I am also thankful that He is teaching me to seek after His heart, one of love and compassion. God is good, and during this season of change in our lives He is doing good things. 

Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him all creatures here below, praise Him above ye heavenly host, praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Amen.