Love Powered Parenting

I am currently reading a book called Love Powered Parenting and so far have felt encouraged to stop and think about my parenting. Here is a nugget that has really stuck with me:

Instead of beginning with a desire to better schedule your time with your children or to be more intentional in your parenting, begin with the decision to make love the priority. (page 34)

Sounds simple, right? I love my girls, each and every one. But I don't always show that love...like in the grocery store when I am embarrassed by their tantrum, or when I am talking and they interrupt me for the 10th time! It's hard to show love when I am a selfish individual. But, this truth about making love the priority has really helped. When Kate was crying the other day about a toy that she lost for playing during rest time, I took a breath, thought, how can I love her, and then I went in and talked to her. When dinner time became chaotic with interruptions, demands for more food, and just general noise I took a breath, thought about how to love, and then slowed our family down so that we took turns talking and more importantly listening to each other. It even carried over in the grocery store when I had to wait for a lady who was taking a long time asking for each individual price of each item...I started to give her a look like, Really? Another price check? But then I took a breath, thought about love and smiled and chatted with her a bit about her two daughters while we waited.

I am blessed and encouraged to think that purposefully choosing to love when I am tired, irritated, inconvenienced or underminded will not necessarily change my daughters, my husband or people around me, but it changes me. It helps me remember how deeply I am loved when God is tired, irritated, inconvenienced or underminded by my sin. And yet He still loves me and draws me closer.

Here is another nugget that I am going to keep thinking about. The author, Tom and Chaundel Holladay, encourage you that after you chose love as a priority to then set goals in your parenting:

We live in the balancing act of keeping them as safe as possible while releasing them in the sometimes dangerous direction of growth. What a challenge! It's a deep reminder of our desperate need to trust in God...As you set goals in parenting it's vital to remember that healthy goals are statements of faith and not attempts to control. Our goals should grow out of our faith. (page 40)

I don't know what my goals are, but it is something to think about. not being a goal orientated person I often float from one project to the next, one hobby after another, and end up dabbling in a little bit of everything. But it make sense to have goals in parenting so that my day does not slip away without taking the time to love my girls in some way or teach them something that enlightens then intellectually, physically, spiritually and socially.

Parenting is not easy, but I am so blessed to have books around me that help me think about parenting in a way that will honor God as well as bless my daughters. I love them so much and hope that one day they will know that whatever happens love was guiding my decisions and actions.

A Memorable Memorial Day

Do you know that I am a creature of habit? I love familiarity.

Doing the same things over and over is a fun for me. I love walking into a restaurant that I have been to many times before and ordering the same meal that I already know I love. Don't get me wrong...sometimes I try new things. I tried a new type of tea at Starbucks the other day and decided that my same drink, a Non-fat Latte, is still the best thing out there. And if I want variety, an iced non-fat latte.

But I digress... The point is, I love going to the same places again and again, and I delight in the sameness.

Like going to the cabin that I went to when I was a kid. I love going there. This weekend we went to the cabin with my folks and had a great time doing the same things. As we were hiking my dad pointed at some rocks and said, "That is where we had church time when we came up here with you girls." I loved that!

I also loved watching my girls pull out all the pots and pans and play the same game I played with my sisters: we called it pots and pans and my girls thought of the creative title of Pots and Pans. I love it!

I love the Dam hike we take with the same Dam jokes we make. It never gets old!

There is variety in the sameness though: different books read, different games played, different stories shared. But overall, something never change (like my luck in Yatheez...I just don't get that game!) or the fact that once again my family and I escaped the craziness of life and spent a weekend together relaxing, playing, laughing and eating. Different? No. Memorable? Absolutely!!

 

Dudley and Simon

We got BUNNIES!! The girls have been asking and begging for a pet for a while. I have been pretty firm in saying that when Rachel Lee is potty trained then we can get a pet, but they have been asking, and asking, and asking so finally I decided an outdoor bunny would be okay. We found these two bunny brothers on (none other than) Craigslist. They are three years old, come little box trained, came with the hutch, water container, bowls of food, three bags of food and litter for their litter box for $40...how could you beat it? So, Jeff took the two older girls to pick them up while I stayed with Rachel Lee since we were not sure if the hutch would fit in the car. Here they are returning with Dudley (the black and white one) and Simon (the brown one).

By the time they returned home Rachel Lee was sleeping, but when I got up the next morning Hannah was already outside sitting at the cage at 6:11. I took Rachel Lee out, but quickly had to bring her back inside because her screams and squeals were so loud I was worried that she would wake the neighbors, and it was not even 6:30.

We have tried a few harnesses on the bunnies, but they seem to be the kind of bunnies that prefer to roam (they were indoor bunnies prior to moving in with us) so we are thinking about getting a pet pen for them to roam in while still protecting them and our garden.

Here's to a whole new chapter in our family: pet care!

Celebrating Being a Mom

I have had a lovely day with my family: coffee this morning at Panera Bread, church together, lunch and rest at home, and a picnic dinner at the park. The girls showered me with kisses and love and Jeff took care of dishes, laundry and Rachel Lee while at church (she has an intense dislike of church nursery these days). As we were walking together Hannah was running ahead and she tripped and fell and scraped her knees. She cried and said, "Oh no, now Mother's Day is ruined!" I quickly explained to her that Mother's day is not a day off from being a Mom and doing all the things I usually do, but a day to celebrate that God has given me three girls and that I get to be a Mom. She perked up, and it really helped me remember what a blessing it is to be a mom. Not all families have children, and each girl of mine is so special and delightful in their own way. I really do celebrate today as a day when God blessed me with Hannah, Kate and Rachel Lee. Here is a token that Jeff gave me to remember my blessings:

And in addition to being a mom, Jeff has gone above and beyond taking care of me today and giving me so time off of doing those mom duties that I don't often enjoy. Just another blessing from God!

Not Potty Training, Sort of

I potty trained Kate starting about 16 months, and it took about 2 months for her to really get the concept and stary dry. Kate wanted to sit on the toilet, she wanted undies, she wanted to be big like her sister, but she wasn't ready. I only trained her since she was interested. It worked eventually, but there were a lot of accidents and although I didn't mind cleaning up the messes (usually) Jeff really thought we should wait. Rachel Lee is 16 months now and seems very interested in toileting behaviors. But, Jeff has asked me to wait. I would like to potty train since she is interested, but out of respect to Jeff I am trying to contain myself, and I think I have found a compromise in which he and I are both happy. Rachel Lee poops in the morning and the evening, almost predictably (another good sign for potty training, but again, I am not potty training). I put her on the toilet, read her a book, wait for the poop to come and rewarding her with marshmellows. When she poops in her diaper she tells me, so I know she knows what poop is, and my hope is that by rewarding toilet pooping she will eventually tell me before she poops that she needs to poop. If she has an accident it's in a diaper, and it's no big deal. I then put a diaper back on after her toilet time because I am not potty training yet, sort of. All I know is that when I do toilet train she will be totally ready, and we will be also. It takes a team to potty train. Just look at that huge smile as she sits on the toilet. I love her so much!

Sisters Having Fun

Singing and Dance Party

Not So Shy Taters

This girl fools everyone...

People think she is shy, but really once you gain her trust she is boisterous, silly and just plain F-U-N! Who else could pull off a yellow frilly swimsuit with rain boots and a crazy hair style on top? My Taters. (and if you look closely you can see that her boots are on the wrong feet, which when I point it out to her she says, "I know. I like it that way." Alrighty then.)

I love my Kate so much. I love her spunk and her quietness...she is a true blessing in my life!

Crazy Hair Day

Just as the title suggests, today was Crazy Hair Day at school. Hannah has been talking about this since last week and has nonstop asked for 5 pony tails with all different colors. When she woke up this morning she was beaming and said, "I've been looking forward to today all my life!" Here she is, in all her glory, my crazy girl on crazy hair day:

And here she is running to school, thumbs up, tongue out...she says she runs faster that way...

Grandma's Weekend!

This weekend Jeff and I took the girls to see both, yes BOTH grandma's in honor of Mother's Day. We have called it Grandma's Weekend, and next week I look forward to some extra quality time with Jeff and my girls when we celebrate Mother's Day... Here are some fun photos of the special times we had with Grandma Cindy:

And here are some fun photos of the special times we had with Grandma Sue:

And of course, my sister, Jenna, who is a lovely Mom of two beautiful, smart and funny little girls:

And a family photo.

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life." -- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)