A Perfect Imprefection

Today I am reminded that my girls are not perfect, but that they were each created perfectly by God. They are uniquely formed for God's glory. No freckle, wart or blemish on them is not known and created by God. They are exactly as He intended for them to be. And that gives me hope.



Over the last few months we have noticed Kate's behavior changing. She was ignoring us more. When disciplining her she would say, "I'm sorry mama. I no hearded you." You mean you were not listening, I would respond.

But then I noticed that she would put toys next to her ears to hear them. She also brought me a toy a couple times asking for new batteries, even though it was still working fine.

So I did a small test. When everything was quiet I would say, "Come here if you want a gummy bear." Hannah would come running, even if she were in the other room, and Kate, seeing the commotion would come and say, "What mommy? What?" as if she knew she were missing out on something good, but she didn't know what.



I needed to know: was she not paying attention, was she willfully ignoring, was she seeking attention, or was she really not hearing me.

I called to make an appointment with an audiologist and at the appointment today they told me she does have hearing loss and I need to see a specialist to see what to do next.




My heart sank. How will this hearing loss effect her? How long has this been going on? How many times did I put her on time out, take away a toy, spank or withhold a reward from her because she did not hear me? Guilt began to sink in.

But, I am forgiven. God knows that I am not perfect. My girls are seeing that I am not perfect. And I can be free from that guilt because I am forgiven for my mistakes. Praise God!

After the guilt came a rush of fears: my already shy girl, how will this effect her? Will her teachers and peers know what a delightful, silly little girl she is? Will she need surgery or hearing aides?

But, I have no reason to fear because I know that she is wonderfully made. "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.'" God spoke these words to his chosen people while they were in exile. What seemed bad for His people was part of the plan, and this is part of His plan for Kate. It may be short term hearing loss or permanent, but this is His plan, and I rest in knowing that it will prosper her and ultimately bring glory to God.




God, I humbly ask that you would give Kate hope in your steadfast love, and that you would prosper her and be glorified through her!