How's life with three?

Frazzled. It's my new favorite word. I'm asked all the time how I'm doing with three and nothing else describes how it feels to be pulled in three different diretions all day while I'm really only thinking about one thing - sleep, and how to get more. Yes, my life is frazzled. Busy, some of the time. Happy, most of the time. Frazzled, totally.

So there I was exiting a doctor's appointment for myself with Rachel Lee ready to eat and two little girls asking (for the tenth time) about their promised snack of goldfish and juice feeling totally frazzled. I sat down in the waiting room to feed Rachel Lee while reading a book to the girls, reminding them that the snack was in the car and they could have it when we get there. When Rachel Lee had settled and was in that sleepy milk state that newborns get in after eating I began to herd the troops and venture to the car. That's when Kate sweetly looked at me and softly said something. "What Kate, I can't hear you" I replied, and she again said something. "Sweetie, speak loudly" I insisted, "I can't hear you," and then I made out the dreaded words, "Mommy, potty." Why do I dread those words? I hate public restrooms. What's worse than going to a public restroom is going to a public restroom in a doctor's office where there are sick people. What's worse than worse is taking two kids in a public restroom in a doctors office who touch everything and then put their hands on their face. It is simply too much for this germaphob.  But I digress..."Can you wait?" I plead. "Sister is sleeping and we are headed home." "Okay, Mommy," she said and I breathed a sigh of relief only to hear Hannah say, "I need to potty, and I CAN'T wait."

So, into the bathroom I trudge with two little girls, an infant carseat, and Rachel Lee still under my nursing cover. I put the toilet seat protector on, put Rachel Lee in her car seat, sit Hannah on the toilet, remind Kate not to touch anything, especially her now crying sister, and Hannah says, "I don't have to go anymore." That's when I could sense my frustration rising, "Rachel Lee is now crying because I put her down because you said you couldn't wait to go potty. You will sit there and you will go potty," I reply. She gives me a very sad look and I realize I was wrong for saying that, and since she didn''t need to go I took her off, put Kate on, washed Hannah's hands, washed Kate's hands, washed my hands and exit the bathroom with two kids and a crying baby feeling totally frazzled.

We made it through the parking structure and finally to the car. I buckled Hannah and Kate in their seats, gave them their special snack, and sat in the front seat and began to feed Rachel Lee. Phew - we're in the car. One step closer to home.

I looked at the girls in the rear view mirror and reminded Kate to not pick her nose. She took her finger out and then started chewing on her hair (a new habit of hers). "Kate don't chew your hair either," I tell her. She then took another strand of hair and put it in her mouth. Now the phrase running through  my head is "Don't make me come down there" because I don't want to deal with this now. I'm tired and if I were really honest I would say I was sitting in the front seat praying that today would be the day that all the girls would nap at the same time so I could rest. So I shift my prayer to, Lord, soften her heart so she obeys me, (still somewhat selfish because I would like things to go easily) and I say, "Kate you need to listen and obey. Take your hair out of your mouth." She looked at me and then turned her head and looked out the window totally ignoring me. Oh, this girl! She is totally two and totally frazzling.

I got out of the car, still nursing Rachel Lee, pressed the unlock button for the doors, shut (read: slammed) my door, walked around to the sliding door when I realized that I had accidentally locked the doors rather than unlocked them. I kicked the car because I'm mad: mad at Hannah for saying she had to potty, mad at Kate for disobeying, and mad at myself for locking my kids in the car with my keys and my cell phone.

I quickly regained my composure and sweetly (fake sweet that is) say, "Hannah, unbuckle yourself and come open the door for Mommy." She unbuckled the top clasp, but couldn't (and never has been able to) undo the buttom portion. "Sweetie," I say trying to reassure her because she has realized what has happened and is beginning to worry, "keep trying. You can do it." Panic started to hit her when she couldn't do it, and she began crying and then Kate cried which made me start to cry. So there we were, all crying.

I told the girls that I was going back inside to get help which only heightened  their cries to screams. Change of plans: I flagged down a lady walking to her car and asked her if I could call AAA. She didn't have their number so I called Jeff who didn't answer his cell phone, so through my sobs and tears I left him a message asking him to call AAA and send someone to help. The lady helping me didn't want to leave me stranded (bless her!) with my kids in the car screaming so she looked up AAA's phone number on her phone and I called AAA for help. The lady on the phone tried to get me to calm down, and said that a truck would arrive in 20 minutes and asked if I wanted them to send the police. "Can the police open my door?" I ask. "Yes, they can," she reassures me. "Please send whoever can open the door and get here the fastest," I reply. So, she sends the police. In the meantime, Kaiser security arrived because Jeff has gotten my message and called them. He also called AAA so now there were two trucks being sent to help! I tell the girls,"Don't worry girls, help is on the way," but it didn't seem to settle them.

10 minutes later, all three of us still crying, Rachel Lee still nursing a tow truck arrived. It took less than a minute for them to open the door to the car, and I unbuckled the girls, hugged them and kissed them over and over.

Shortly after the truck arrived, the police car arrived. When the police arrived I regretted asking for them to be sent because I began to worry that they would send CPS (child protective services) to take the girls so I began to reassure everyone that I am a good mom, just frazzled. Everyone seems to understand - three kids three and under can do that. The mom, Robin, who let me use her phone, told me, "Locking your kids in the car doesn't make you a bad mom, just a mom."

I finished feeding Rachel Lee in the van with both girls snuggled next to me, Kate sniffling from all the crying and Hannah asking me to promise to never do that again. As a special treat I went through the McDonald's drive thru to get happy meals and had a picnic lunch outside. What a day.

And, it was the first day that all three girls napped during rest time, so I too took a nap. When I woke up I felt rested and much less frazzled until...