In your anger...

...do not sin. Ephesians 4:26a

I am teaching this verse to Hannah because my sweet little girl seems to have a big fiery temper lately. When I ask her why she hit someone or tried to bite them she will tell me, "I got mad and I wanna hurt them."

Can you say YIKES??
Hannah being very sweet with Kate. They do love each other!
The good part: she can identify her emotion. The bad part: her intention of hurting others. I think she must of learned this from school...I guess she would have to go to school before I blame them for her problems.

I am also trying to teach Hannah what to do. This verse points out the obvious: she (we) will get angry, and getting angry is not sinful. It's what a person does when they get angry that can lead to sin. So, what do you think is appropriate to do when you get angry?
Hannah and Kate play ring around the roses with Abbey (Ben is not in the picture).
Hannah and Kate playing with Hailey (Mia was not in the picture).

I look back on my days as a teacher and realize how often I would become angry: at a parent, another teacher, a kid, my principal and I would not lash out physically but instead gossip, which is really lashing out verbally, a more socially acceptable form of anger management.

Through parenting I see my shortcomings more clearly and pray for humility as I try to teach my daughters to do what I have not been doing in my own life. Through Christ alone!




p.s. sorry this is another parenting style post, but i am in the midst of a difficult behavior time with hannah and kate which has made me reflect on my parenting style more. i promise there will be fun posts again!!

My heartthrobs

My friend Kristen posted about her heart throbs growing up, so this is in response to her posting which you can view here if you would like. She's very funny and I love her blog.

Growing up we owned four movies: Annie, Sword in the Stone, Pink Panther Strikes Again (not the cartoon mind you) and Flight of the Navigator. We also weren't allowed to watch much TV and listened mostly to Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith. Sheltered, I know. I have to give this disclaimer because my crushes...well, you'll see.

So, who were my crushes? Daddy Warbucks?
I actually remember being afraid of him.

A cartoon little boy?
Please...I was way to mature to fall in love with cartoon character!

A crazy Jacques Clouseau that I could hardly understand?
I don't even know why my parents owned it or allowed me to watch this!

No, my heart throb was this handsome young man in an oversized baseball cap:
His name I had to google but it's Joey Cramer who played David, the main character who was abducted by aliens and even though he was only gone for 8 minutes it was 8 years on earth. So, when he is returned to earth everyone has grown up except him. I remember watching this movie and there is a song in it by Beach Boys where David (Joey) sings along, and I used to dance around the room pretending to dance with him. Aahh...memories!

Here he is in color so you can fully appreciate his charm:
Okay, not so charming. But when you surround yourself with those other movies you can see why he was my heart throb.

As I got older I had a major crush on this young man:
That's right folks, Ricky Schroder from Silver Spoons. He's just so cute in stripes:


And check out his bangs in the front here:
Awesome curl, Ricky!! I do think it's amazing that he's a childhood star that also did some adult acting. I mean, who has ever heard of Joey Cramer? And how many of you watched Ricky Schroder on NYPD Blue? Okay, I didn't either, but he was in it! And some childhood stars never make it beyond that.

Okay, I saved the best one for last, and if I didn't mention it here my sister Jenna would call me out in the comments area. I was too old, should have known better and picked better, and yet I didn't. I am embarrassed to say that I had a crush on this guy:

What was it that I liked? Maybe his badass image, his mysterious dark glasses, his ability to fly anything, or was it his awesome mullet?
No, it had to be his smile. Yeah, that must be it.

And for those who don't know: Jeff had a mullet when he was younger. If I can find the picture I will scan it and post it for you all. It always makes me laugh!!

My Biter; My Parenting

We should not be embarrassed by what our kids do. We should be embarrassed if we fail to discipline and teach them a better way.

This morning Hannah got up running around, jumping up and down, shouting, "We need to hurry and get ready for MOPs. Don't wanna be late!" MOPs is a group we have joined standing for Mothers of Preschoolers. I drop the kids off and have some spiritual down time with other moms.

Unfortunately Kate is not so excited about MOPs. She has cried every time, almost the entire time at MOPs. Last week one of the teachers told me that Kate seemed to prefer her, but still wasn't very happy. What I heard was: Kate tolerated her, but did not like her. I was pleasantly surprised today when her teacher reported that Kate did not cry "as much." Her teachers are really so sweet!

I was equally as surprised when I picked Hannah up and the first thing she said was, "Today I crwed." It was so uncharacteristic that I asked her why and she said, "I bite a boy." Oh, no.

Her teacher told me that Hannah was playing with play dough when a boy took her play dough and she bit him. She assured me that she did not break skin, but it did leave a mark on the boy's cheek. She even said that the boy did not cry, but Hannah did, and for a while they thought that the boy bit her and she bit him back. If only.

So here I am, googling "toddler biting" to see what I should do because I am a little lost.

If I see Hannah's biting as a struggle for control, either over the boy, her play dough or for her teacher's attention, I should give her control in other areas of her life to satisfy her urge for control. If I see biting as a response of frustration then I should teach her to say "I'm mad" or how to ask other adults for help before she acts on her frustration. If I see this as a source of teething then I will give her something cool to chew on. And, since I tend to be indecisive and unsure of things, I will probably end up doing all of these things, in addition to I have already done.

I started out parenting thinking that spanking would be the answer. My kid disobeys they get a spanking. My kid lies, hits, bites, kicks, throws a tantrum, they get a spanking. Two years, nine months, and twenty four days later I have learned that spankings do not solve everything. Hannah needs to be taught a better way to handle emotions, whether it's her desire for control or a struggle with frustration. Spanking will not teach her that. So even if I spank her, there is still much work to be done.

I am not saying that you should or should not spank and I am not saying that I will always or never spank. What I am saying is that spanking is not that same as parenting, and parenting cannot be summed up with one course of action (i.e. spanking, time out, privilege revoked).

Parenting keeps me humble. Parenting keeps me searching for God's love, grace and wisdom every day.

And now that you've read this far (or skimmed) here are some totally unrelated photos from our recent trip to the Wild Animal Park:

Mine and You

I'm reading a book called Being a Great Mom, Raising Great Kids by Sharon Jaynes and have been thinking about this:

"A mother cheers for her bundle of joy when the baby rolls over, laughs and kicks her tiny feet in the air. She even gives a hurrah when the baby burps...She encourages the baby when he shakes a rattle, holds a cup, points to a color, and responds to his name. But mostly, she praises the child for no reason at all. 'Just because you're mine.'" (pg. 79)

I love this quote because I agree that there is a special bond between a parent and a child, and in my case a mother and a daughter. I loved my girls from the moment I knew about them, simply because they are mine. But this is much too simplistic.

As Hannah and Kate grow I see that they are uniquely gifted and formed. Each girl is different and each girl is special, unlike each other and unlike any one else. I praise and encourage my girls because Kate is Kate and Hannah is Hannah and I LOVE who they are. It is much deeper than being mine, it is being them.
These two girls are brilliant, creative and amazing. Seriously. Aaa-mazing!

And I can say for sure that these two little girls are quite possibly the most beautiful girls EVER!!

Yes, these girls are mine, and what a priceless gift they are. But these girls are precious for who they are. I praise God for creating these girls and touching my life with them. I am blessed by them and hope to be a blessing to them.

The house

Here is a picture of our future home. It isn't much, but it is a big improvement over our current apartment. We signed the lease today!

A House

This is the the Craigslist posting that caught my eye:

The house is located at 8708 Friant St. Walking distance to elementary, middle, and high school. Please drive by but do not disturb the tenants.
2 bedroom 1 bath 1100sq ft
Large sun room addition
tiled hallways
1 car garage
washer and dryer
huge yard, fenced
utilities and water are not included

The sunroom was used by the owners as a third bedroom when they lived there but for us it will be a playroom. A PLAYROOM people!!! I'm practically beside myself!! Another perk is that I won't have to walk a mile to the car with two girls, a diaper bag and whatever else I need to carry. It has a garage, and a driveway. Jeff and I are meeting tomorrow with the owner to sign all the documents, and plan on moving Feb. 15. I'm so excited I may not sleep for the next month!!

17 Things About My 17 Month Old*

1. She is the biggest snuggle bug in the WORLD!!! Kate is totally happy sitting on my lap for a hour, playing, reading...whatever she can. She loves to be held, hugged, kissed, and rocked. She will snuggle all day long if I let her, and on good days I do.

2. She prefers everyone (Jeff, Hannah and me) to be together all the time. If Hannah or I leave the room she follows and says, "Ka mama (Nah-nah)!" And when Jeff leaves she cries.
3. She likes being home or in familiar settings.

4. She has a circle of trust and will only let certain people hold her. If a person picks her up and they are not in her circle of trust have mercy!!

5. She does not like church nursery. When Hannah heard that it was church day on Sunday she said very sympathetically, "Oh dear! My sista no wike church. She gonna cwy and cwy and cwy. What we gonna do?" Exactly Hannah. What we gonna do?

6. She loves her crocs and will not tolerate any other shoe. When I put other shoes on her feet she sits and says, "No, no, no" over and over pulling at her shoes until I take them off. If I take her out in other shoes she will just sit and sit. Is it a battle to fight? Not any more.

7. She can put her laundry away.

8. She has an intense sweet tooth. After eating a meal she will say "All da. Twt peez." (All done. Treat please.) And she knows the difference between treat and fruit, so don't try to pull a fast one on her!

9. She can play independently for about 20 minutes, which amazes me!!

10. She loves her doll, purse, sun glasses and sweater and wants to take all of those items, regardless of weather or where we are headed, every time we leave the house.
11 She is a talker at home, and quiet when we are out. Very quiet. Until I leave her in the nursery, and then, oh wait, that was #5.

12. She cries a lot. She will barely hit her hand, trip or bump her head and she turns red in the face, takes a huge deep breath in (as if winding up) and then lets loose.

13. She can gain control when I say, "1, 2, 3 all done crying." It's like a switch that goes on, and then goes off. Again, like her mama: all or nothing.

14. She has the greatest curls. I hope she keeps these curl because they are beautiful.

15. She has the most infectious belly laugh ever, and will laugh at the slightest "BOO" or tickle. When I had the flu only one thing got me out of bed: Kate was cracking up in the bath tub and I had to see what was making her laugh so hard. Her laugh would get the sickest person out of bed. It's just that good.

16. She loves self-care: hair combing, teeth brushing (of which she now has 10), teeth flossing, lotion, nail clipping, baths . . . this girl loves being pampered.
17. She is Kate. A constantly growing, changing, learning, adapting, breaking, fixing, laughing, crying, eating, sleeping, snuggling, playing, reading, listening, ignoring, climbing, sliding, yelling, quite perfect little toddler. She is an amazing girl and beautiful in every sense of the word.

*I accidently posted last month that Kate was 17 months, but she was really 16 months. This is also a day late