I am currently reading a book called Love Powered Parenting and so far have felt encouraged to stop and think about my parenting. Here is a nugget that has really stuck with me:
Instead of beginning with a desire to better schedule your time with your children or to be more intentional in your parenting, begin with the decision to make love the priority. (page 34)
Sounds simple, right? I love my girls, each and every one. But I don't always show that love...like in the grocery store when I am embarrassed by their tantrum, or when I am talking and they interrupt me for the 10th time! It's hard to show love when I am a selfish individual. But, this truth about making love the priority has really helped. When Kate was crying the other day about a toy that she lost for playing during rest time, I took a breath, thought, how can I love her, and then I went in and talked to her. When dinner time became chaotic with interruptions, demands for more food, and just general noise I took a breath, thought about how to love, and then slowed our family down so that we took turns talking and more importantly listening to each other. It even carried over in the grocery store when I had to wait for a lady who was taking a long time asking for each individual price of each item...I started to give her a look like, Really? Another price check? But then I took a breath, thought about love and smiled and chatted with her a bit about her two daughters while we waited.
I am blessed and encouraged to think that purposefully choosing to love when I am tired, irritated, inconvenienced or underminded will not necessarily change my daughters, my husband or people around me, but it changes me. It helps me remember how deeply I am loved when God is tired, irritated, inconvenienced or underminded by my sin. And yet He still loves me and draws me closer.
Here is another nugget that I am going to keep thinking about. The author, Tom and Chaundel Holladay, encourage you that after you chose love as a priority to then set goals in your parenting:
We live in the balancing act of keeping them as safe as possible while releasing them in the sometimes dangerous direction of growth. What a challenge! It's a deep reminder of our desperate need to trust in God...As you set goals in parenting it's vital to remember that healthy goals are statements of faith and not attempts to control. Our goals should grow out of our faith. (page 40)
I don't know what my goals are, but it is something to think about. not being a goal orientated person I often float from one project to the next, one hobby after another, and end up dabbling in a little bit of everything. But it make sense to have goals in parenting so that my day does not slip away without taking the time to love my girls in some way or teach them something that enlightens then intellectually, physically, spiritually and socially.
Parenting is not easy, but I am so blessed to have books around me that help me think about parenting in a way that will honor God as well as bless my daughters. I love them so much and hope that one day they will know that whatever happens love was guiding my decisions and actions.
1 comment:
This sounds so good. I've been thinking a lot, too, about practicing the golden rule in my home. My kids are often the ones that get the brunt of my bad moods. It's been giving me lots of opportunities to talk with them about how I need Jesus to forgive my sin, help me have self control, etc. just as much as I tell them they do. :)
Post a Comment